Finger of God
Greetings! Christmas does not make hard times go away. That is the brilliance of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life!" staring James Stewart. And so, I had my share of hard times during Christmas this year. I had to move out of my apartment on December 17th due to mold brought on by flooding. My style of home for the holidays has been sleeping on an air mattress in my parents' living room. While my parents have a very nice apartment, it's not home.
And so, I went to look at another place with some friends. I was convinced it was a signed and sealed deal, and then on Christmas Eve, my friend told me that no, it wasn't going to work out for me. Needless to say, I identified with Jimmy Stewart's character when I was watching the above mentioned flick that night.
I came to Salem House of Prayer or SHOP on Christmas morning because I have the quadrant from 6am to noon on Saturdays, and Christmas fell on a Saturday this year. I ended up crying my eyes out to God. Everyday living has been really hard for a really long time. I've moved 28 times in 7 years, been in 11 relationships that did not work out, lost a lot of relationships, had to rebuild, gotten divorced, gone through a murder, and experienced poverty intimately. I thought things were starting to look up, and then things just got shut down. And the worst part was, how it happened was not ok.
And I realized something. I was going to have to hurt someone I loved. So as I cried, I asked God to help me hurt her in a way that would bring healing. I set up a time to talk to her, and it went well. I was honest, but the trust in the relationship was still destroyed, and I still have to rebuild with her. The pain still is there, because I can't fix it, and it really isn't my job. All I can do is forgive her and reset my expectations to be more reasonable next time.
So last night, I was pretty downhearted about it. Another friend came and prayed over me. He said the Lord told him that the finger of God was upon me. So I looked up what that meant. Aside from the story of the writing on the wall, the finger of God is talked about four times. Two of these times are references to the writing of the ten commandments. The other two are stirring. The first is found in Exodus. Moses had been stirring up Egypt be preforming signs and wonders. The magicians had been determined to go toe to toe with him, but they couldn't keep up. Finally, they admitted it to Pharaoh. The Bible says in Exodus 8:19, "Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, 'This is the finger of God.' But Pharaoh's heart grew hard, and he did not heed them, just as the LORD had said." That got me to thinking. Sometimes the power of God is displayed in such a way that the only thing that can be said is that this is God. So if this whole situation is used to show forth the power of God to those who have been thinking they could do it in themselves, in their own strength, if my life is a testimony of the goodness of God despite what others meant for evil, then the struggle is worth it.
The second passage that really spoke to me was in Luke 11:20. "But if I cast out demons with the finger of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you." Jesus is talking here. Jesus said we have the same power and authority as He did. We can literally like a child take a hold of the finger of God and ask Him to move and work on our behalf and the behalf of others. Maybe where I live and who is involved in my life is more about the Lord showing forth His power and getting me in a place where I have to call for things like justice, truth, and mercy. Maybe He is teaching me when and how to call on Him for myself and also for others.
I'm looking at two houses tomorrow. I am hoping that one of them will be my new home, but if not, I know that God knows the plans He has for me. And if that's to sleep on an air mattress for a bit longer, then that's ok. He is my daily bread, my source, my home, my hope. So I can wait a bit longer. The hunger is an invitation to be filled. "I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (Psalm 27)
And so, I went to look at another place with some friends. I was convinced it was a signed and sealed deal, and then on Christmas Eve, my friend told me that no, it wasn't going to work out for me. Needless to say, I identified with Jimmy Stewart's character when I was watching the above mentioned flick that night.
I came to Salem House of Prayer or SHOP on Christmas morning because I have the quadrant from 6am to noon on Saturdays, and Christmas fell on a Saturday this year. I ended up crying my eyes out to God. Everyday living has been really hard for a really long time. I've moved 28 times in 7 years, been in 11 relationships that did not work out, lost a lot of relationships, had to rebuild, gotten divorced, gone through a murder, and experienced poverty intimately. I thought things were starting to look up, and then things just got shut down. And the worst part was, how it happened was not ok.
And I realized something. I was going to have to hurt someone I loved. So as I cried, I asked God to help me hurt her in a way that would bring healing. I set up a time to talk to her, and it went well. I was honest, but the trust in the relationship was still destroyed, and I still have to rebuild with her. The pain still is there, because I can't fix it, and it really isn't my job. All I can do is forgive her and reset my expectations to be more reasonable next time.
So last night, I was pretty downhearted about it. Another friend came and prayed over me. He said the Lord told him that the finger of God was upon me. So I looked up what that meant. Aside from the story of the writing on the wall, the finger of God is talked about four times. Two of these times are references to the writing of the ten commandments. The other two are stirring. The first is found in Exodus. Moses had been stirring up Egypt be preforming signs and wonders. The magicians had been determined to go toe to toe with him, but they couldn't keep up. Finally, they admitted it to Pharaoh. The Bible says in Exodus 8:19, "Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, 'This is the finger of God.' But Pharaoh's heart grew hard, and he did not heed them, just as the LORD had said." That got me to thinking. Sometimes the power of God is displayed in such a way that the only thing that can be said is that this is God. So if this whole situation is used to show forth the power of God to those who have been thinking they could do it in themselves, in their own strength, if my life is a testimony of the goodness of God despite what others meant for evil, then the struggle is worth it.
The second passage that really spoke to me was in Luke 11:20. "But if I cast out demons with the finger of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you." Jesus is talking here. Jesus said we have the same power and authority as He did. We can literally like a child take a hold of the finger of God and ask Him to move and work on our behalf and the behalf of others. Maybe where I live and who is involved in my life is more about the Lord showing forth His power and getting me in a place where I have to call for things like justice, truth, and mercy. Maybe He is teaching me when and how to call on Him for myself and also for others.
I'm looking at two houses tomorrow. I am hoping that one of them will be my new home, but if not, I know that God knows the plans He has for me. And if that's to sleep on an air mattress for a bit longer, then that's ok. He is my daily bread, my source, my home, my hope. So I can wait a bit longer. The hunger is an invitation to be filled. "I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (Psalm 27)
Sitting down and reading is sometimes different from listening. I'm amazed by what He has done in you. It was well written to. I love you.
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