Changes
A day can change your life. Enough of them piled together can find you on a whole new trajectory. And so it is in my life right now.
The last day of July was my last day working for my parents. I had no idea what the future would hold from there, but I was fairly terrified of ending up in the "poor house" again. Couch surfing is not fun, and my two cats would find living in a car absolutely unacceptable. It's amazing how black and white things become when you have fur babies.
Daniel helped me in this adventure. I went to Nashville and came back after the trip. I forgot how much of my heart I had lost to the South. All of their charm and grit washed over me in Tennessee, and I opened my heart up to the experience of being there. Franklin in particular captured my imagination, and I began to build a life inside my head in that town. The imagination is a beautiful tool. We can live as many lives as we can dream in the corners of our minds.
Yet I came home to Oregon with no job. Once I found one, I was certain it would stick. I am terrible at quitting even a bad situation- as anyone who experienced my ex-husband knows- and so I thought whatever place I landed would be it. But Daniel and I exchanged some services one afternoon, and I think I will forever remember it as one of the great stepping stones of career for me.
Daniel Wendler is an entrepreneur and marketing guru. The guy really knows his stuff, and if you're a therapist who needs some clients, you should get a hold of him (shameless plug). He was transparent enough with me to allow me to suggest some structural changes in his business which would free up more of his time in exchange for helping me to find a marketing job at the entry level with an awesome company. I didn't take action for a while, but I finally realized my physical limits and applied.
I am so glad I did. I have spent the past month asking people if they needed home services at Home Depots from East Vancouver to Albany. While I have learned a lot about sales, I think I learned more about how I operate than anything else. I prefer a consultative approach to sales, a base pay that I can count on, having benefits, and helping an organization. I also prefer to do it all from the comfort of a desk and to work with business clients, not the general public.
I have spent so much of my life fighting to survive that I have missed how many options we are given in life. What do I want to spend my life doing? Why do I have those preferences? And what do I need to do and make to take care of myself? It's very easy for me to focus on other peoples' needs and wants and then wonder why I resent them or am becoming bitter about the task at hand. Truth is, we're all given a unique role to play in life, one that suites all those needs, wants, and dreams inside of us. When we don't live our truths, we hurt ourselves and the world at large. Not to say you should be a selfish human being, but there is a point where a little bit of self-discovery is warranted and needed.
What I think I have learned from this experience is that sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself, that we all have blind spots we need help with, and that it's ok to quit something. There are so many things I am thankful for from this last month. My apartment is amazing. I have a new church family, and I started seeing someone who loves to cook and eat with me and brought me flowers (Thor is still unsure of him, so we're taking it slow). I am in a much better mental place than I was a month or two ago, and looking forward to the future. I would love to visit Morocco in 2018, and am planning on getting involved in the arts community in Portland and maybe the Beaverton community too.
My final thought is this. Just because you can't see something growing, it doesn't mean the growth isn't there. Your soul is growing more than you realize, so give yourself a break and allow the flowers to come in their season. Don't worry too much if they retreat and it feels like death. You'll bloom again. We are all poured out to be filled back up. Until then, know that you are not alone, that your gift is powerful, and your voice matters.
Love you all.
The last day of July was my last day working for my parents. I had no idea what the future would hold from there, but I was fairly terrified of ending up in the "poor house" again. Couch surfing is not fun, and my two cats would find living in a car absolutely unacceptable. It's amazing how black and white things become when you have fur babies.
Daniel helped me in this adventure. I went to Nashville and came back after the trip. I forgot how much of my heart I had lost to the South. All of their charm and grit washed over me in Tennessee, and I opened my heart up to the experience of being there. Franklin in particular captured my imagination, and I began to build a life inside my head in that town. The imagination is a beautiful tool. We can live as many lives as we can dream in the corners of our minds.
Yet I came home to Oregon with no job. Once I found one, I was certain it would stick. I am terrible at quitting even a bad situation- as anyone who experienced my ex-husband knows- and so I thought whatever place I landed would be it. But Daniel and I exchanged some services one afternoon, and I think I will forever remember it as one of the great stepping stones of career for me.
Daniel Wendler is an entrepreneur and marketing guru. The guy really knows his stuff, and if you're a therapist who needs some clients, you should get a hold of him (shameless plug). He was transparent enough with me to allow me to suggest some structural changes in his business which would free up more of his time in exchange for helping me to find a marketing job at the entry level with an awesome company. I didn't take action for a while, but I finally realized my physical limits and applied.
I am so glad I did. I have spent the past month asking people if they needed home services at Home Depots from East Vancouver to Albany. While I have learned a lot about sales, I think I learned more about how I operate than anything else. I prefer a consultative approach to sales, a base pay that I can count on, having benefits, and helping an organization. I also prefer to do it all from the comfort of a desk and to work with business clients, not the general public.
I have spent so much of my life fighting to survive that I have missed how many options we are given in life. What do I want to spend my life doing? Why do I have those preferences? And what do I need to do and make to take care of myself? It's very easy for me to focus on other peoples' needs and wants and then wonder why I resent them or am becoming bitter about the task at hand. Truth is, we're all given a unique role to play in life, one that suites all those needs, wants, and dreams inside of us. When we don't live our truths, we hurt ourselves and the world at large. Not to say you should be a selfish human being, but there is a point where a little bit of self-discovery is warranted and needed.
What I think I have learned from this experience is that sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself, that we all have blind spots we need help with, and that it's ok to quit something. There are so many things I am thankful for from this last month. My apartment is amazing. I have a new church family, and I started seeing someone who loves to cook and eat with me and brought me flowers (Thor is still unsure of him, so we're taking it slow). I am in a much better mental place than I was a month or two ago, and looking forward to the future. I would love to visit Morocco in 2018, and am planning on getting involved in the arts community in Portland and maybe the Beaverton community too.
My final thought is this. Just because you can't see something growing, it doesn't mean the growth isn't there. Your soul is growing more than you realize, so give yourself a break and allow the flowers to come in their season. Don't worry too much if they retreat and it feels like death. You'll bloom again. We are all poured out to be filled back up. Until then, know that you are not alone, that your gift is powerful, and your voice matters.
Love you all.
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