Common
Sometimes I get curious, and then one thing leads to another and before I know it, I've fallen into the rabbit hole that Alice so wonderfully found first anyway! Such was the case tonight. I was looking on craigslist for a job in Newberg, then in Salem, then started looking at the missed connections page in craigslist, and then got to thinking about my own missed connections. And then I started googling people that were in my life or currently are in my life. Then I googled myself. RABBIT HOLE for sure.
What I found was that I have a common name. I am common. That's not a bad thing, since I can blend in so well. Looking over the different things the other Amy Tobey's in the world had done with themselves, I thought, man, is this an alternate reality? Are they really me only just with a different twist? But I don't think it's as sci-fi as all that. I think that each one of us has a unique part to play in history, and sometimes we find that there are others who are like us out there.
How we impact others is unique too. I am glad that people exist, go on even if I am not there. I miss people, but sometimes it's comforting to be all alone. I'm never alone though, truly. Living at the intersection of two busy streets in a shared house guarantees me that. I like to think that all the moments before lead up to the intersection of one beautiful moment in life. Each beautiful moment gives us the needed encouragement to keep going until the next one arrives.
Sometimes, I wish things would have gone differently in my life. There are a few dark memories I could do without, a few words that were spoken that I'd like to forget, a few actions that I would take back if it were mine to do over again. But somehow I know that the shaping of my character, who I am, the lessons I learned from those experiences was necessary to get me to a beautiful moment in life. So I guess it's worth it, I just don't know how worth it yet.
Maybe those who experience the darkness appreciate the light more than those who have always had it. Maybe value comes from knowing the cost of the thing, what it is to be without it, and being willing to pay that cost because it's worth it. Love is worth it to me. And no, I haven't always been loving, nor am I loving every moment of every day, but I want that character in my life. Micah always said it was the fruit of the Spirit I was after, but I think that character and fruit kind of go hand in hand. After all, if you don't show up to farm every day (character) you'll never see your fruit! In the end, the light banishes darkness, fear drives out love (not the other way around~ darkness cannot cast out light and fear cannot cast out love. Where light and love are, darkness and fear cannot be. It is impossible.), and God is still on the throne. I know all is well.
Sleep well, world. Awake in the promises of love tomorrow, no matter where you find yourself tonight.
What I found was that I have a common name. I am common. That's not a bad thing, since I can blend in so well. Looking over the different things the other Amy Tobey's in the world had done with themselves, I thought, man, is this an alternate reality? Are they really me only just with a different twist? But I don't think it's as sci-fi as all that. I think that each one of us has a unique part to play in history, and sometimes we find that there are others who are like us out there.
How we impact others is unique too. I am glad that people exist, go on even if I am not there. I miss people, but sometimes it's comforting to be all alone. I'm never alone though, truly. Living at the intersection of two busy streets in a shared house guarantees me that. I like to think that all the moments before lead up to the intersection of one beautiful moment in life. Each beautiful moment gives us the needed encouragement to keep going until the next one arrives.
Sometimes, I wish things would have gone differently in my life. There are a few dark memories I could do without, a few words that were spoken that I'd like to forget, a few actions that I would take back if it were mine to do over again. But somehow I know that the shaping of my character, who I am, the lessons I learned from those experiences was necessary to get me to a beautiful moment in life. So I guess it's worth it, I just don't know how worth it yet.
Maybe those who experience the darkness appreciate the light more than those who have always had it. Maybe value comes from knowing the cost of the thing, what it is to be without it, and being willing to pay that cost because it's worth it. Love is worth it to me. And no, I haven't always been loving, nor am I loving every moment of every day, but I want that character in my life. Micah always said it was the fruit of the Spirit I was after, but I think that character and fruit kind of go hand in hand. After all, if you don't show up to farm every day (character) you'll never see your fruit! In the end, the light banishes darkness, fear drives out love (not the other way around~ darkness cannot cast out light and fear cannot cast out love. Where light and love are, darkness and fear cannot be. It is impossible.), and God is still on the throne. I know all is well.
Sleep well, world. Awake in the promises of love tomorrow, no matter where you find yourself tonight.
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