Living in the question
I had a college art professor tell me once that all great art was made by living in the question. How far away is this from that? Is this the right color? Is this area darker or lighter than that? And so line up line, color upon color, question upon question, the work is formed. She also said you must be willing to change your answers if you're wrong at first or adjust as new information becomes more relevant. She told me to get comfortable living in the question.
But I am not yet.
I question everything. And at times I find myself unwilling or unable to change answers I was so certain of yesterday. If I change them, do I lose something of who I was before? If I am angry today and happy tomorrow about the same thing, what then? And do I see you rightly, or did I in the past? How can I know you like I want to without injury? Is that even the point of being known?
Sometimes in painting, an artist must cover over a section of the work for the sake of the cohesion of the whole. Sometimes mistakes become the most beautiful passages of the piece.
Maybe life is more art and less science than I try to make it. Maybe some things I have loved must be taken in order for beauty to come to the whole, or happy accidents need to occur for the truth of my life to show forth.
We are all master pieces, beautifully flawed works of art living in the question of today. I must remember that the answers aren't always the most important. Sometimes the process itself is where hope and healing lies.
May you find peace in the midst of your questions.
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