For my friends
My soul is tired tonight. It's been tired for about a month now, which is unfortunate because I am still in the midst of school. A dear friend returned my phone call tonight, and we talked until I couldn't think of anything more to say. But I am still tired, and there is still homework to be done. He did get me through the dishes and the laundry that needed to happen. And I started noticing how we treat and talk to each other. I tried to make him laugh, and he was gentle with me and just listened. This has been how it's always been. I know we'll always be friends, even when we go long spaces between these chats of ours.
There are hearts in this world I am so glad for. Their beating means something to me, even if I don't see them often or haven't talked to them for years. I think of the community of young adults I was privileged to know in Newberg, how they challenged my world view and comforted me when I didn't know how broken I could be. I remember the fellowship over the table, and I miss breaking bread with them.
I remember high school and the group of friends I had on campus, on the bus, and at church. I am missing one more than the others tonight. He's no longer here, and I went to his memorial service on Sunday. He had told me a long time ago thank you, that some of the things I had done and said (specific memories, and I want to keep them to myself if you don't mind) had really impacted him. I found out how much on Sunday as I heard from other people the way he carried those things through his life. I forgot how much each of us shape each other, and I know he shaped parts of my heart too. He always treated me with so much dignity, always tried to cheer me up, and he was just special.
And maybe that's the point of life. We're here to be special to one another, to encourage each other and to shape each other towards the beauty we all hold in us. It's unique beauty though, and once we decide to make it uniform, it loses some of the luster which drew us toward it in the first place.
I remember people like beacons who have stood out and offered hope to me in my darkness. There's a verse somewhere in the Bible that loosely says, "Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him depend upon and trust in the Lord his God." Darkness does not mean that God has gone away. It just means we need to trust a little more. And sometimes that trust comes through the hand of a friend.
There are people in this world whose hearts are still beating. And it means the world to me. Love does not stop because of a separation of time and space. It keeps going on. And my love hasn't stopped because you are buried. It keeps going on. Love is the only thing stronger than death. And even though your heart is no longer beating, you still mean the world to me.
There are hearts in this world I am so glad for. Their beating means something to me, even if I don't see them often or haven't talked to them for years. I think of the community of young adults I was privileged to know in Newberg, how they challenged my world view and comforted me when I didn't know how broken I could be. I remember the fellowship over the table, and I miss breaking bread with them.
I remember high school and the group of friends I had on campus, on the bus, and at church. I am missing one more than the others tonight. He's no longer here, and I went to his memorial service on Sunday. He had told me a long time ago thank you, that some of the things I had done and said (specific memories, and I want to keep them to myself if you don't mind) had really impacted him. I found out how much on Sunday as I heard from other people the way he carried those things through his life. I forgot how much each of us shape each other, and I know he shaped parts of my heart too. He always treated me with so much dignity, always tried to cheer me up, and he was just special.
And maybe that's the point of life. We're here to be special to one another, to encourage each other and to shape each other towards the beauty we all hold in us. It's unique beauty though, and once we decide to make it uniform, it loses some of the luster which drew us toward it in the first place.
I remember people like beacons who have stood out and offered hope to me in my darkness. There's a verse somewhere in the Bible that loosely says, "Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him depend upon and trust in the Lord his God." Darkness does not mean that God has gone away. It just means we need to trust a little more. And sometimes that trust comes through the hand of a friend.
There are people in this world whose hearts are still beating. And it means the world to me. Love does not stop because of a separation of time and space. It keeps going on. And my love hasn't stopped because you are buried. It keeps going on. Love is the only thing stronger than death. And even though your heart is no longer beating, you still mean the world to me.
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