My cat snores

It's a little known fact, but he does. Sometimes, he even wakes himself up from the sound. It's ridiculously cute and makes me feel at home because my dad does the same thing.
I have taken enough medicine to sedate a horse, and my body and mind are still twitching, refusing to fall asleep. When I do get to sleep, I have nightmares, usually involving past atrocities or present emotional struggles. I dream in color, in sound and smell. It's as if I am fully awake in the dream world. Sometimes I wonder if dreaming is another reality and maybe the realm of wakefulness is make believe.
I have been missing morning appointments due to not being able to shake the after effects of my pill cocktails from the night before. I hate it. I have turned into a night owl with a morning person personality. How that works I cannot say. I miss the dawn, the feelings of anticipation and excitement over a new day, and the feel and smell of preparing breakfast for waiting residents.
Yet somehow I know this new state of being is an improvement over what came before. My brain is finally working on processing the pain and abuse I have gone through. I have hope for the future and am giving myself grace for my failures in this time. Keeping my promises to myself has become more of a priority as I learn to take care of myself and set boundaries with those around me.
Yet I can't sleep. I still feel like I am treading water...
Don't worry, and don't tell me how strong I am. I am tired of being strong, and I don't know how to ease your fears.
But Thor is snoring, and I can hear the hint of a pur in his soft breathing. I know he's happy here with me, that I don't have to earn his affection, and that what I already do for him is enough. At least I can do this one thing right: friendship with my cat.
Don't worry. Thor is snoring, and with any luck, soon I shall be too.